Everytime I try to fly... I fall without my wings. ANGELA'S WORLD

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Tomorrow is the last day of Asia Conference. It is awesome, the best conference City Harvest Church had ever held, throughout this 4days of sessions and electives, I really learn a lot especially for my spiritual life. I witness and experience the power of Holy Spirit.

Just now when I was on my way back I was thinking about this question. All of us has Satan inside of us whether or not you are a Christian (ranging from Bean club, G605 to all the people I know and met) So if one doesn't guard his/her heart well, Satan is going to rule over it and destroy your life. The patients of mental hospital, I believe they let the devil take control of their feelings and life so this kind of mishap happens to them. Such a sad thing, really, they were once an adorable child, grown up to become a healthy person and just that something negative happen to their life, their mind lose control. I was reading a book describing how devil do their works in the cloud, the evil spirit hovering around each an every individual , always ready to attack. Sometime I was thinking if only God's can open people's eyes to let them see, how nice would it be. Without having to say much, people will understand the importance of having God in their life. Everybody knows that God is the creator of the whole universe, He does exist and many more that whoever is reading this blog, I want to say God created you because He loves you so much that you can ever imagine. He don't mind sacrifice His only son so that you won't be separated from Him. He is your Father in heaven. If someone ever wants you to sacrifice your child just to save another person. I can guarantee one will think twice, including me so I say our God is really great. He is not mine alone, He is yours also. One of my favorite songs, "How Great is Our God" whenever I listen to it, tears will just roll down. I can feel the pain He has for His children. JESUS came 2000 years ago, to redeem our souls so that we can be saved and have eternal life with Him. I want to share all this happiness to the people out there, that nothing can be more important then enjoying the life with Him, the bible also promises us a lot of good things that is coming to His children.

I ever told ling this, how nice would it be if I could have just live a life of my own that my heart will not be bothered by lost soul. Sometimes the moment I closed my eyes, I see those horrible scene. I shall not say it here but I am burden by it. Wondering why people are just too busy with their things and don't even recognize the Father that first created them. My heart bleeds for this people. I told myself if God can come down for His judgment asap, I would be happy but it also mean final goodbye to some people and eternal torment which I don't want to see and is too afraid to write here because one thing is I care for you. My motto in Christian life "The greatest gift I can ever give is not Branded goods but is to let you know Christ and enjoy eternal life with Him" God really taught me to be loving towards people, so friends even if we don't contact each other for years, or even once a year, or even when we are quarreling, I care for your life. God waited for me for 19 years, so as long as I live I will wait for you.
There is one life only, and there is really hell and heaven, thats all I can say.
1 John 4:17
In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him.
Revelation 20:15
If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.
Revelation 21:27
Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life.

Today Benny Hinn preached a very good message, he said we are like God and the ants are the people of the earth, we cannot communicate with ants nor they can communicate to us. We can see ants in a similar way like how God can see us, but the ants cannot see us because we are like cloud to them, too huge to see as a whole. In order for God to communicate with us, He became the image of us, walking among us to spread the gospel of the living God so that no one shall perish(entering hell). He is awesome, a God that truly loves His people so deep.

Today the anointing of God filled the entire place, Benny Hinn lay hands on us as well. He wanted us to hold hands with our neighbors and reached out our hands to God. He told us that the moment we shout "FIRE", the anointing of God is going to flow down from Heaven. So we shouted "fire" and I heard pomp pomp pomp, people began fall down under the presence of God, I fell as well. It is amazing!! There is even deliverance as well (casting out of demons). God is really moving almightily in hall 7,8 and 10 and 25,000 people attended this service!!! This Asia Conference is really an eye opening one, He even prophesies about the things to come, about the nations.
Exodus 20:20
Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning."
I feel so honored being part of CHC members and most importantly I am able to experience God in just a powerful way.

12:39 AM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

Monday, November 10, 2008

Today is a new week for me, going to Thank God here for delivering me out of worried, stress, tiredness and friendship problem that I faced. Also wanna thank my groups of friends that encourage me when I am down. What Sze shared during last week of Revelation were so true, that our spiritual realm is here and right now. God is standing somewhere near to me, it might be in front of me but the hardworking devil will find all its ways to block us from seeing God and that's through controlling our mind that eventually lead to feelings. Just like what I have learn in "Fire and Life safety management" when a building is under fire and the smoke density is so high, how far can the person see through smoke to find the exist when we know that the exist way is always there will depend on one of the conditions- physical and mental state of the observer. So the fire is the devil, the exit is the God and smoke is our problem. Thank God that this week I see the importance of being clear in my mind so that God can led me out of all my troubles.

In everything I do I seek God and ask for His help, especially for my project when I really desire an A. I pray and fast, visualize Yong Feng, Siling and me seeing an A appearing in the MP/SIP column. I speak forth this to increase my faith. For almost everyday I do the same thing. I know throughout this six months God has really seen us through, from what we seems to be hopeless for our project now we see light. Counting down 20 days to final presentation and we are still rushing. I won't blame Unni for keep on adding things to our project, I know he wants us to score better so what I can do is chiong for my last 100m lap, I can see the finishing line in front already. God I promise You we will hold each other hands and finish the race. May Your grace and protection be with us that no one will fall down. Amen

Last Saturday, as usual we had our bible study conducted by fa Ji. At the end of the lesson, he mention something about hurts that people had inflicted on you and all the worries you have right now. We began to sing Alleluia to Christ the Lord without any musical instrument, halfway someone was coughing, he cough until want to vomit that type. I though it was normal, cos I ever cough until vomit too. But few seconds later, I heard someone pushing the chairs on the floor and he started screaming and crying. I know its deliverence and I started to give God my thanks for making me so obedience that devil don't have chance to attack me. I am happy for that person because he is clean now. He really have that faith and full of courage. What I want to say is, God is really real, put God first in your life and being obedience to Him, everything that You desire He will give it to you. I feel guilty for the past that I put work before Him, relying on my strength but not Him. Now I understand and I am even prosperous than before because we are really serving a living God, he will definitely open ways for you if you believe Him. If you are being tempted by devil, start asking yourself if you want to bow down and worship him as your master. It works for me pretty well cos I really hate the smelly rotten devil to the core. We look normal when standing among non- Christians but we are living in a spiritual realm, the feeling is like playing computer games having the character of special power or watching harry potter, got power one haha so nice and exciting. I never regret being a Christian but what I regretted most was why shouldn't I know Him earlier. This is the only religion that I feel so close to God that we even address Him as our Father. How nice and wonderful to say I LOVE YOU Heavenly Father. Well I shall end here may God bless your day.

9:51 AM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

Monday, November 3, 2008

Hi I am back to upload awhile, have been a busy week for me, seriously I wanted to study for my own module, I already claim in Jesus name that this semester I will score extremely well, God has also shown me a lot of ways but I still have to study hard cos I don't want my brain to be an empty shell. I have been doing MP/SIP group report and helping my cell group to do things for last week. Monday night attended a leader's meeting, I felt something different about my spiritual life perhaps is because I have been fasting and praying to have a much closer walk with God. And for this arise and build season, frankly speaking deep down in my heart I knew this is a sacrificing amount. I can say the feeling is different from the previous arise and build and I am giving my best and that's for sure. As I pledged and put in the amount, I cried, not because I am waving goodbye to my money but I really look forward to what God will perform and promise to give in my life and cell group. I want to be faithful and obedience just like Choo Nam, I remembered once, the day before service I prayed to God that let me see Your face because Choo Nam have this privilege to see Jesus standing on the stage when they were singing praise and worship. Haha seriously I wanted to see Him and most probably the first question I would ask is can I bring big eyes (my smelly bolster) with me to Heaven. God wanted Abraham to sacrifice Issac and Abraham obeyed and God did this to test his faith and love for Him. But if God wants me to sacrifice big eyes, I will cry. Haha when I thought this to myself I laugh and its inside the bus some more but I really love God and try my best not to give in to Satan cos Jesus is my master not that ugly devil.
This morning I went down to Heart of God church to have morning prayer, I walked and went to level 2 and pray, though the members are at level one but the moment when I opened my mouth and speak in tongue, His presence came to me instantly. That's fast I thought to myself and Jesus has began to give me what I asked for. Last time when I felt the presence of God, it always come and go, come and go, although its just a touch but I will say thank you and today the presence is with me for a long time.

My heart is not yet so excited for Asia conference, haha I dun want yeah for the sake of yeah. But I want this feeling to be the same as arise and build, can't wait to give, can't can't to fulfill and if financial situation allows I would like to add on more sacrifice to arise and build. Friday prayer meeting at my place, Sarah pass down the Asia conference list of courses that we chose. I pick this "choosing the right partner ",sounds weird but no harm listening cos I don't want to pick a wrong life partner. Haha actually I choose a man myself however I will let God decide for me. If yes than something something if no den another thing. My ideal partner, the most important criteria is he must be a child of God, it does not mean a christian just in the name. But having the same faith as I am or even more and put God first in His life. This man in my life is going to hold my hand and walk towards Heaven, NOT hell. Entering into heaven is not as easy as what you think, by attending service that isn't enough and doesn't guarantee one having eternal life, most importantly is the attitude and heart that one carry. God reveals to Choo Nam at the end of the day before He comes again to judge the earth, more than half of the world population will be saved, that is a good thing however when I further read, out of 100% Christian only 20% is obedient, this is the sad thing. I won't say I am fully obedient but I want to be one and I really try to please God as much as I can. There are times where I would rely on my own strength but I hope my future partner would guide me spiritually and direct me to the right track again not just emotionally, financially and physically. He would not only love me but love God whole heartedly as well.

Psalm 31:1-5

In You, O Lord, I put my trust;

Let me never be ashamed;

Deliver me in Your righteousness.

Bow down Your ear to me,

Deliver me speedily;

Be my rock of refuge,

A fortress of defense to save me.

For You are my rock and my fortress;

Therefore, for Your name's sake,

Lead me and guide me.

Pull me out of net which they have secretlt laid for me,

For You are my strength.

Into Your hand I commit my spirit;

You have redeemed me, O LORD God of truth.

1:15 PM
Big Eyes Loves Bone