Everytime I try to fly... I fall without my wings. ANGELA'S WORLD

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Finally I am back to blog again. Last Saturday went cycling with Cell Group, the cell group meeting was short just sang two praise songs and after that we went cycling. That day I went to take Ah Seng, Ricky, Zi wen and Kelvin's numbers. Hmm I will loves all these brothers because God first love me, although that day was a bit unhappy because cycled half way have to keep stopping and wait for the rest like not so fun like that. The next day I take Jared's number from Rebecca. He is a really nice guy although he is just a new friend and our first time seeing him but he is super helpful; he volunteered to cycle back with us to fetch Lalita, take water for me when I'm thirsty and help me with riding double bike. One thing I admired about him is that all his family members are Christian now, as and when they will pray together. so nice, but I know salvation is upon my family too because I have been praying real hard.
I miss this week service some more after service is BBQ, quite sad miss so much fun. Father in the name of Jesus I miss you a lot, I cannot imagine my days without Him. I always have this sense of closeness with Him, hearing His voice, seeing visions in my head but as the day pass it seems to fade away. I am afraid one day I could not speak in tongue anymore don't know why I will think in this way also.
Yesterday and today I went to work helping OCBC Bank, extremely interesting job, I am paid to play with the kids again but is quite tiring because the kids are so noisy and keep pushing to play first. Some nearly quarrel and I don't know how to handle all these. Well there are a few kids who keep coming back for the gift, a tissue box only what so whats there to quarrel about. Moreover beside me is a Shop n Save and if they really desperate can go buy one carton or better still go toilet for unlimited supply.
By the way this week my health is not so good, two weeks ago I fall sick and now its back again. Here pain there unwell. Wonder when will my cough and flu leave me completely. Am I sick on the inside, not sure whether should I go for a body check up? Ck if you are reading this blog, just want to apologize for not being able to pick up your calls or chat with you for long, there is no fix time of calling in but next time you let me know earlier by tagging me than I can go home early. My brother and sister are understanding one they will sure let me use if they know you call in unless is prayer conference than exceptional la. Haha hope all of your are doing fine. Take care and God bless.

7:35 PM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Two nights ago, siling called me, I thought just normal chit chat but she cried over the phone. I can't hear what she said about the whole incident but I understand how she felt towards Si Yi. Next week I will go her house, don't know what can I do, but just want to be there for her. I prayed for her over the phone also, I know my prayer will work because I pray from the bottom of my heart, its my earnest prayer and I am touched. Don't really like to hear you cry. You must be strong cos Si Yi needs you to comfort her also. Forgiveness is the power to freedom. Amen. I love you.

11:04 AM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

Monday, June 16, 2008

Today in school quite busy, was doing my log book and lab 5. Suddenly have an urge to fill in as many pages as possible. Went to free access lab, half way through I lie down in front of my computer and sleep. The moment I wake up, my whole body was hot although the room temperature was low, now my throat also feeling irritating. When I wanted to have a breakthrough be it spiritually or in studies there is always something happen. Stupid satan, trying to tear my life apart, you belong to hell not earth so go back there and fellowship with your master. This month I fell ill twice, I can't afford to take any off day le. Well later have to measure my body temperature before I sleep. Thank God when I am weak, He made me strong. Nothing can tear me apart because I know God is with me and He dwells in me. I like this sentence a lot that is "In tough time, God teaches me to trust" Actually wanted to upload what I've learn today but think other day ba.

11:13 PM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

Friday, June 13, 2008

Yesterday went to meet care person at 10:30am, thank God I am not alone at lease Rebecca is with me. I think I have been reaching school as early as 8: 30am since I receive my first warning letter. This is no joking matter and mercifully it is not going to affect my results. For the same incident, I don't know how many times must I repeat myself. I sitting down there and shake my leg while listening to him. Don't want to let the past affect my performance, I wanted to excel this sem. If God is with me who can be against me. Amen.

8:58 AM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Yesterday was a busy day for me, meet Mr Unni at around 9:45am because we need him to assist us in lab 5, so that we can progress on creating LonWork prototype. Initially I thought it would take about 1 or 2 hour to complete it, but he took 5 hours to explain the whole thing and do it for us. I was sitting next to him listening and I nearly dozed off, my eyes was like 50% closing and brain 70% shut down. The night before I slept only a few hours, I wanted to ask him if can take a few minutes break, but he seems to get so enticed by the lab and keep talking to the computer screen. In order to keep myself awake, I take down notes while seeing him demo and that poor Siling was already sleeping behind of us. How I wish I can close my eyes together with her and let my brain rest but I wouldn't want to let Mr Unni see that we are not serious in our work so I E.N.D.U.R.E....
Both Siling and I take turns to yawn, she even wrote on the whiteboard that we are fighting with the Zzz monster. Funny lor, people here paying attention, she behind writing all this, think by doing this, it makes her awake also. And guess what? We finish the lab at 1: 30pm. I fight the Zzz monster for 5 hours lor, wa lau eh really traumatizing, early morning gotta suffer all these. By the time Mr Unni gets up of his chair, Siling went to sit right infront of the computer, I saw her moving the mouse and flipping the notes, I immediately asked her to stop her work because my armour, sword, and shealth all got holes le, can't fight Zzz monster any further.
After that went to concouse level and rest. Shivering throughout my sleep. The sun was scorching but my internal was trembling, weird. By right 2pm should go down I promo to sign my pay slip but was too tired to go. Sleep until near 4pm and went to have my lunch. I was telling Siling TP so big why everywhere I go keep bouncing with wei hong and his gang. Go toilet saw him, canteen buy drink saw him, walk to vending machine also saw him. Purposely choose Mensa Canteen to eat also can bounce onto him, let alone school bus stop. Really "Yuan Jia Lu Zai" .Do milestone after that and clocked out. It was tiring but I prefer this kind of life. Yeah!!

9:48 AM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Big eyes: Hello I am back. Do you miss me?
Celeste: hafo. i'm here. u miss me 1st?
Big eyes: Woof Woof (Yes) and I am hungry.
Celeste: I'm more hungry than u ya. u anyhow go pick bones & eat can liao. :P
Big eyes: No I want eat yesterday that muffin. Isabel never buy my share so I by right I should share with you but you finish it le. Sob Sob..(Poor big eyes sitting at one corner crying)
Celeste: Isabel! wher u ar? Bigeyes finding u ya..
Big eyes: (Put down his trumpet on the floor and use his little hands to wipe away tears)

2:22 PM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Half an hour later have to leave house for service. At night sis will be attending wedding dinner with Jeffery and Elkan. Brother won't be home so early because he will be serving for security until quite late. Later at home lonely, talk to big eyes and tomatoes or maybe sleeping early cos still have to work the next day. Tomorrow will be another independent day for me, alone go work and go cell group meeting. Have to wake up at 5:30am, my reporting time is 7:30am. Very rush sure no time for my breakfast. Sob Sob.. Siling not coming for service later, but never mind, time pass very fast one. Have to go already. To be continue....

1:02 PM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

Yeah after 2 or 3 weeks later we finally have connect group outing and we combine it with Rebecca's connect group. Ever since Rebecca leave to join Sarah's group, my laughter has become lesser. Her laughter is contagious, a lot of times don't know what she is laughing at but when I looked at her I will burst into laughter also because her expression is hilarious. Back to the outing, initially should have Izuan, Yong Feng, Erin, Isabel, Rebecca and me but ended up the guys cannot make it. Since Yong Feng uncle's is treating him dinner so our poor Izuan gets abandoned by him and he decided to go home instead.
We watched "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" at Bedok Princess Cinema. The last one to reach was Isabel, movie starts at 7pm but she arrived at 7:05pm. I miss the beginning part but its alright I forgive her. The movie was fantastic although there was some part I don't understand and I dozed off, haha my behavior seems to be so ruled. I like the climax, the battle between Narnia and Telmarines and the little girl have to find Aslan in order to rescue Narnia from Miraz's the evil King who rules the land without mercy. I will rate this movie 5 stars, it definitely worth the money to watch.
After that I have Hokkien Mee for my last supper because the next day will be my turn to suffer already. Erin thanks for the bracelet hope you did enjoy your day. For 3 weeks never see you, without your, our days at IBCU very liveless.
Oh ya, I want to complain, they all call me Dear little friend (DLF), although I admit I'm short but I am not dwarf leh. Some more yesterday get neglected, Erin and Isabel share things, don't want share with me-JEALOUS. They even mocked at me for that squash ball incident, eh my eyes injured leh, how can your be so heartless.-SAD. Haha next time don't talk with your already wahaha. Yesterday Siling fasted for 24hours, must be really hard for her but thank God you made it through. Now listening to kids prayer, realize our love for GOD is extremely deep. A lot of times I fail in His test but yet He did not forsake me. Will feel sad when I talk to You and is only in You I will kneel down and surrender myself.

Dear GOD, thank You for loving me, I will grow up serving You. In Jesus name Amen.
I want to know you Lord
You are a great big God
I am young and do not know a lot
Come and be my own

I want to love you more
Giving you my life and all
You died for me, You sacrificed
I won't forget you Lord

I love you Jesus, I grow up knowing You
I love you Jesus, I grow up serving You
I love You Jesus, my live is saved by You
I'll never forget, never forget, I'll grow up loving You

9:40 AM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Sometimes I was just wondering if only in the first place I could treasure it then........but what am I thinking now. I think I drunk already, feeling rather giddy. I am very confuse trying my best to think straight. How should I say? A lot of things can happen within this six months. I wanted to focus and be happy but then i realize I can't. People come and go, leaving footprints in my life, is it a good or bad thing? Frankly speaking recently I am not happy at all, something is just missing but I don't know what is it. I keep seeking for laughter but it lasted only awhile. Recently I feel very desolate and downhearted, really very horrible like something stuck in my chest. This is my blog but yet certain things I can't type here. This is exactly how I feel inside my heart, I have a problem but yet I can't say. People says friends are there to lend you a listening ear so just pour out your troubles but I will say friends I want to protect your feelings.

My Angel and My Friend

Through darkness you have been my light
You have been there for me when I am in need
Always caring and understanding
You have never been hurtful or nor demanding

And although we have had our up and downs
You have been there for me without a doubt
If there were angels in this world
You are my angel, but most importantly,
You are my Friend, and may we be friends until the end.

4:31 PM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

1:38 PM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

What Angela Teo Lay Cheng Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.

You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.

Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.

You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.

You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.

You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.

At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

9:16 PM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

ANGELA ~ Isabel: My tag box spoil already, can't work.. This afternoon still working but don't know is it my computer fault or what. I wanted to scold Isabel but my tag box spoil at the wrong time. She says God grace over her. I wanted to say her messages are double attack to me. What hit by shuttlecock? I haven even play yet ya and she curse me. Don't know what friends is that? And that sweet even worse, thought it was meant for me but she says its not, I have been thinking too much already.

7:26 PM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

Today I enjoy myself a lot, finally completed the course and received the certificate. Its very nice. This afternoon a lecturer came into our class and told us about another oversea community project. This time round is to Cambodia and again to install solar power however he said will be held inside a forest? What a weird one. However for this Cambodia trip will only open for guys, its such a pity. Anyway it won't be fun if the last time OCP group members are not able to go along. Well another is to Laos to teach English. I have already put my name down for it, it will be at the mid of September, a nine days trip. Really hope can go for this mission trip once again especially with Siling and Yong Feng. How I wish Bin Rui, Ah Gui and Ck are with us also, it won't be the same without you guys.
Anyway today we have a small debate with the topic of whether are primary product and delivery system a more important one as compare to service mindset and ongoing relationship. What a hard one, I was stressed out when a girl who is only in sec 4 shoot until I nothing to say, the way she talks is influential. I really need time to anticipate her words.i Its a fun one but I didn't do my best especially when the others asked me to fight back. Instead I there shouted help to Father. Well I personally thinks that a product is more important than customer service because there will be times when I will enter a shop it may not have the things I exactly want but the person is taking care of me fabulously. What will you do then? To buy a product in that shop because of the person? I am definitely not that kind of person, although it may be heartless. After all this is a good experience for me, to observe how people speak with so much confident. This debate session motivates me greatly in thinking fast, speak boldly and fight for your rights.
Tomorrow have to focus on finishing the lab. Hope to complete the whole project on time. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Amen.

5:30 PM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Just feel like blogging but not sure what to write. We left with another 3 more months to complete project, I started to feel stress again. Seriously I rather go back to normal classroom lessons, this is really too hard for me to bare. This morning walk pass the first block concourse level, saw people doing last minute revision for their term test. I miss the days studying with Chi Kong, also miss the times where he will stay in my house overnight just to accompany me study. Don't know how is he doing now? We lost all form of communication. The letter which he sends nearly one month ago I still haven receive yet.
Back to my today's course, its great I learn a lot of things, it really worth the money. I learn the different levels of service. Although it may sounds familiar but how many of us will really apply it in our work. Going extra mile is easier to say than done, this is what I realize. Tomorrow I will be getting my certificate plus seal point. My aim at end of the year when I graduate is to score an A for my seal point column. Usually that will have a "price" to pay.
Well I will continue to work hard, nothing can defeat me because I AM A CHILD OF GOD AND HE WHO IS IN ME IS GREATER THAN he WHO IS IN THE WORLD. AMEN!!!

6:15 PM
Big Eyes Loves Bone

Monday, June 2, 2008

Today I never went to school cos sick. Last Friday already fall sick think I keep too many things to myself until my body cannot take it, moreover the weather has been weird this few days. Last week I played squash with Siling and Rebecca. Its been long since I last played, if I am given a second chance I am not sure would I give up again. I hope to join school team when I first entered Poly,I even dream to be the top 10 to represent Temasak Poly. But my dream didn't last long at all because it was too stressful, everyone was so strong. Siling leave squash earlier than me, we were not close at that point of time yet so even when she leave I still continue to stay on. Until one day when I was with Angel, I sat at the bench stoning for one whole night and I turned to her saying I feel like quitting. I just don't like that feeling, every Wednesday train until 9 plus in the night than leaves school. By the time I reached home, I don't even have strength to do revision. It was also then that I realize I am to going to say goodbye to my dream. But anyway on Friday, I ran two rounds at the stadium, I perspired like dog after that. I also got hit by the squash ball, don't know what was I thinking at that time. But the impact is damn big, I immediately dropped my racket and lay down on the floor. In that split seconds I thought I was going to blind. I could not even open my eyes and when I managed to see light I will feel intense pain. On that same night I cant even sleep, I groan in pain haha think I irritate Siling cos I make a lot of weird noise. Friday was also Ignite Campfire, too bad cant stay overnight. Bel thanks for the drink, Gummy bear and orange dou key chain. That night when I leave the campsite, we "HOP ON" to one lorry and I really "HOP", my leg got blue black and my left cheek was pain because I used it to support my face. This few days I find myself so fortunate even though I was surrounded by many unwelcome incidents.

10:38 PM
Big Eyes Loves Bone